Struggling Single Vs 2nd/3rd/4th Wife What say you??????

Yes true...it's not easy being single and not married especially when you live alone...but it won't be easier to be married to someone else's husband....don't you think????

Below are the comments that I receive when I posted the above remarks as my Facebook status earlier this week:

Nur Rahman i dont want u to be my "HONEY" ..hahhahahahahaa (sbb ko pandai sangat masak...pastu ko seksi bangat...tak leh..tak leh...bahaya..)Wednesday at 10

Shazaida Abdul korang agak apakah reaksi aku bila seseorang guna ayat ni "aku cuma nak menumpang kaseh je" dengan muka tersebek2 when justifying her rationale having an affair with a married man....best part dah 2 tahun kapel pun idok jugak mamat tu ajak dia kawin.....bini dia pun idok dia nak ceraikan/tinggal kan pun...conclusion nya lagu mana????


Nur Rahman hahahahhahaa..aku tumpang kesian kat yg "menumpang kaseh tu."...

Shazaida Abdul hahahahah......aku tumpang gelak je la....dah nasihat...dah list out pros and cons.. degil jugak....sudah nyer HANTAM SAJALAH labuuu.......kemaruk sgt nak berbf gamak nyer....nak kata huduh....ramai je aku tgk org interested....asik perasan dia lagi gorjes dari aku...tp hak orang jugak mau nyaa...

Nur Rahman dia perasan jek..tp sebenornya idok la gojes..desperate tu...

Hazrizal Haris Betul tu Aida.....yg penting, hidup perlu diteruskan

Tunku Fazuin Tunku Zainal babe its not easy being married, being married with kids, being married and depressed or being married with problematic in laws etc. The gist of it, life is never meant to be easy. If it were that way, you would not appreciate your life's journey's

Shazaida Abdul

yes true TFazuin...but if the options between not so easy life as single and being married to a married man that cause more headaches, stress, being labelled by society, IN LAWS and the first wife or the wives and stuck in more complicated ...life and miserable.....being single n not so easy life but not miserable is seems as a better options..at least I have only myself to worry about...need no permission to go out...visit parents....and no kids to look after...

 

Shazaida Abdul for me marrying a married man means I must accept that I still have to spend time at home alone...i wont get 100% attention when I'm pregnant...my movement will be restricted.... to be ready to function as both mom and dad when husband is away for his turn with other wife/wives or for work...im not against it..but given a choice...I chose not to!

 

Tunku Fazuin Tunku Zainal

‎Shazaida Abdul We all don't own crystal balls, if I know know what I know then, would I have ever done anything differently. The answer is yes, but do note, you change one of the variables, all the rest will follow. So we all make good and... bad life desicions, at the end of it all we must decide rather than sit on the fence and do nothing. That is the diffrence between Doers and Dreamers. Each one of us has that specific idea across our mind at one point of time. What makes you act on it? That requires bravery and an unwavering faith kan?

 

Shazaida Abdul

Yep TFazuin...we make decisions in life...and later realize we should do differently...never regret with the mistakes we made but learn from it...i may never experienced either good/bad marriage but i do have experiences in good and bad rel...ationship(s)...so the experience are the same (with different conditions and situations)..doesn't make me against men...does not scares me of marriage....but I am more cautious in relationships..

 

Amanizam Zam agreed.. sometimes we are better off without men in our life..

 

Shazaida Abdul ‎:).....dun get me wrong.....I dun mind having one in my life....its about choices...between struggling single and complicated stressful life being married to a married man (not all single are great and not all married man are bad though)....but knowing myself I dun think I can handle husband sharing..and my patience oso not so good...so kang ada pulak dosa durhaka kat suami.....hahahahahah

 

  

 

    

Kebahagiaan.... Bahagia... Bahagianya.... Bahagia Sungguh.... Berbahagia.... Sangat bahagia... Bahagia sangat.... Mungkir Bahagia.... Err Hospital Bahagia????

Kebahagiaan....
Bahagia...
Bahagianya....
Bahagia Sungguh....
Berbahagia....
Sangat bahagia...
Bahagia sangat....
Mungkir Bahagia....
Err Hospital Bahagia????

Tiba-tiba terfikir untuk mengulas tentang perkataan BAHAGIA. Apa kah kriteria yang perlu ada bagi mentafsir bahagia?
i) Wang dan kemewahan hidup
ii) Memiliki suami dan anak-anak
iii) Mempunyai kerjaya yang di sukai dan memperolehi pendapatan tinggi
iv) Kebebasan Kewangan (errr Financial Freedom)
v) Ketenangan fikiran

Bagi aku bahagia sebenarnya ada di mana-mana, bergantung pada diri kita sendiri untuk bahagia.

Aku mungkin tak punya wang yang melimpah, tak jugak mampu nak bermewah-mewah tapi aku mampu  untuk hidup sederhana dan tak menyusahkan orang.

Aku bujang, tapi aku tak kurang kasih sayang. Mungkin aku tak punya cinta lelaki dan kasih sayang dari anak-anak tapi kasih sayang mak abah dan adik beradik aku melimpah ruah sikit pun tak kurang. Doa yang tak pernah putus untuk keselamatan dan kesejahteraan aku.

Jadi di mana BAHAGIA tu sebenarnya?? Bahagia tu dalam diri kita, minda kita dan hati kita. Apa yang membahagiakan orang lain, tak semestinya membahagiakan kita. Oleh itu, jangan lah kita pandang hidup orang untuk membandingkan kebahagiaan dia dengan kebahagiaan kita, tapi jujurlah pada diri sendiri tentang apa yang benar-benar buat hati kita tenang, kepala tak serabut dan lain-lain perkara yang boleh buat kita tersenyum dan tertawa. Cuma hati-hati lah jangan sampai terlebih bahagia kerana anda mungkin dihantar ke Hospital Bahagia!!!!!

Kepada yang pernah MUNGKIR BAHAGIA...ingat lah yang donia ini bulat...Allah Maha Adil....pembalasan dari-NYA pasti ada...bila..dan bagaimana Wallahu'alam......

"9 Pesan Mak Saya (Full Version bersama elaborasi pemahaman saya!!)":

1. Jangan angkuh, kalau ada sesuatu yang mungkin lebih sikit dari orang lain; sebab ada orang lain ada lagi lebih dan lebih hebat dari kita (contoh:kalau kita ada diploma, orang lain ada degree...kita ade degree orang lain ada Masters...kita ader Masters, orang lain dah dapat PHD
2. Jangan POYO, baru ada diploma Architecture bukan nyer ko dah jadi Architect...
3. Jangan muhong (bohong) aka temberang, kalau takdak qualification/ tak dak title/ tak dak keta grandis/ tak dak banyak duit (eg: takdak diploma habaq kata ada diploma in Architecture...belakang.....kalau sekadar isi borang permohonan nak ambik Diploma in Architecture tak yah la nak borak macam hang dah jadi Arkitek..weiii Azhar Sulaiman pun gelak besau....
4. Jangan perasan ko lagi bagus dari orang, ie: tank kecik la....badan selim melim la...perasan lawa la...(apa ko ingat badan selim sekeping tu hang dah jadi America's Next Top Model dah ka?? level Malaysia pun tak lopeh..., jangan gelak kan orang kata orang tu gigi mancung...gigi awak tu tak mancung jugak ke???, tank kecik konon, mentekedarah tak hengat sesama pompuan..depan jantannnn kontrol ayuuuuuu!!)
5. Jangan la bermuka-muka/ jadi talam dua muka....sebab Allah bagi kita 1 je muka....semata2 sebab nak jantan suka kat kita../takut orang tak suka kita sebab bercakap benau...
6. Jangan jadi lalang, tak de pendirian!!!! Sebab LALANG ni selalu ditebas orang..sape nak simpan lalang buat perhiasan laman/ taman??? Lembu pun tak mao makan tauuu!!!
7. Jangan BODOH SOMBONG, cakap berdegar2 pandai padahal TONG KOSONG!
8. Jangan nak tuding jari kat orang lain, kalau buat salah,...bawak berbincang dulu...kalau melenting mengamuk nampak sangat ko yang buat salah
9. Jangan TAKBUR dengan apa yg kita ada...sebab orang akan tepuk tangan kalau kita ditimpa musibah
10. Jangan ngaku GEDIK dan pada waktu yang sama ngaku diri professional...sebab mana datangnyer profesionalisme dari ke"GEDIK"an anda itu??? Ada pernah ke orang gunakan perkataan GEDIK dalam tone yang positif..."ie: Ehhh budak tu "GEDIK" sesuai benar la di jadikan calon isteri, ataupun pernahkah anda dengar "Anda di terima bekerja di sini kerana anda begitu GEDIK Professional (Professionally Gedik)!!!

p/s: Yang no 10 tu aku suka2 tambah sendiri....tapi mak aku memang confirm tak suka kalau anak dia GEDIK!!!!

Renungan Bersama (alang2 aku dah terjaga ni):10 Sebab Dilarang Pilih Suami Orang (aku jumpa dalam Muslim Executive Planner 2010)

1. Si Dia tidak akan berani membuat sebarang komitmen dengan kamu (memang!!!)
2. Sanggup menipu isterinya (dah sah2 penipu nak buat aper pilih jd bf/laki kan?)
3. Hubungan secara sulit (sorok2 dari bini dan keluarga dia, walaupun dia jumpa kawan2 kita, kita jumpa kawan2 dia)
4. Lelaki lebih beruntung (mana taknyer dia dapat 2 pompuan nak kat dia, kita lak kena share..ish rugi2)
5. Mampukah kamu mencintainya? (sudah tentu tidak, no komitmen, penipu, untung dia sorang2)
6.Si Dia akan hilang hormat terhadap kamu (dia perasan n bangga sbb dia rasa kita desperate nak jugak kat dia)
7. Pemusnah rumah tangga orang lain (kalau kita tak tau bukan salah kita, salah jantan tu, tp dah tau nak jugak memang terang2 salah sendiri)
8. Kamu menipu diri sendiri (nak tumpang kasih la, dia akan adil lah..bullshit seme tu, seksa n makan hati tu memang confirm)
9. "Boomerang Kesalahan" (bila dia kantoi dia tuduh kita punya salah, goda dia lah apalah)
10. Masa itu emas (ya btul, buat apa buang masa menunggu sesuatu yang tak pasti.....)

Are we so unfortunate for not being married like you????????

Feel bad for those women who sees unmarried ladies as very unfortunate....very rugi for never had the experience in marriage....that is so sad...for a women to say such a thing towards other women!

Patutla ramai sangat yang ala2 desperate nak kawin sampai sanggup jadi 2nd gf, date laki orang, tak "memilih" (dlm ertikata lain asalkan lelaki je depa kawin)..lepas kawin kejap, beranak sorang or berorang2, pastu kena tinggal (gantung tak bertali), kena cerai (up to talak 3 pun ada) pastu ex-laki lepas tangan, ko jadi ibu tunggal tanggung sara anak sorang diri.

If that marriage is all about (pengalaman berkahwin yg di maksudkan), I'll pass...lebih rela tak kawin dari kawin sebab takut di panggil anak dara tua.. But how does MJM1, MJM2 or MJM sounds to you??? (i heard this term MJM:Mak Janda Muda with no kids, 1 kid MJM1 and so on from a guy). I believe most of us are aware that sentiments towards JANDA here within our society are somehow stronger compared to so called ANDARTU / ANDALUSIA or whatever society want to label us single women above the age of say 30 (last time after 25 are already considered as ANDARTU). But to all single mothers and single ladies (who have experienced marriage before) out there and reading this I apologize if you're offended by this statement. I am making my point only.


I dont want a fairy tale marriage, I prefer a realistic ones (yang bukan ala2 fairy tale, orang tak kata romantic couple pun tak per..tapi rukun damai, berkekalan, kasih berpanjangan, anak bersusunan.... hehehehhe). But hey, thats just my 2 cents.

This doesn't mean I'm against marriage (because most male think I am, too bad for them for being too shallow). I'm looking forward to embark on the journey with a compatible partner (not Mr Perfect, Not Mr Right Now or whatever). I want to grow old with him, start a family and have 1,2,3,4 or more kids (if my age and body can still take it), for better or for worse till death do us part. Yes true marriage life is no fairy tales, there will be ups and downs. Look forward to experience on putting aside my so called ego, admit to my mistakes, tolerate and communicate to the partner in making our marriage works.

To my future husband (wherever you are), I look forward to that journey. If I haven't met you, please find me ASAP, if I've met you but it was not the right time, do make time, work faster!!!....Hahahhhahaha somehow I diverted from the original topic already.

Till then.....just to let you all know...we're lucky whether we are married or single...do not feel pity for us unmarried ladies above 30 because if you do...I feel pity for you who have such a shallow mind..we should support each other, not the other way round.

Lelaki kah DIA???

Lelaki kah dia kalau hanya kerana dia beristeri dan berjaya membuatkan isterinya mengandung dan beranak pinak? 

Lelaki kah dia kalau dengan angkuh memperlekehkan iparnya, meremukkan hati mertua, membiarkan isteri yang sedang berpantang keseorangan menjaga diri dan anak-anak di rumah tanpa bantuan? 

Lelaki kah dia kalau 3/4 perbelanjaan hidup nya, isterinya, dan anak-anaknya di sara isteri? 

Lelaki kah dia?????